Jersey Shore: The Lost Episode

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MTV’s Jersey Shore has become a cultural phenomenon.  The show has been parodied on SNL and it seems the cast members are making appearances anywhere and everywhere.  Snookie even made an appearance at the Grammys.  The cast is returning for a second season of the hit series for a whopping $10,000 per episode.  As ludicrous as that seems for the cast of a show that was deemed trashy and offensive, the show was a guilty pleasure for many of us.  However, there is one thing I didn’t understand about the show.  Usually on reality shows such as MTV’s Real World, when a cast member leaves the show, he or she is replaced with someone else.  Why did they not replace Angelina when she left the show?  I have my own theory about what happened.  I believe there was another cast member on the show that was kicked off or left.  The lost cast member was a Guindian (Indian Guido).

Imagine a Guindian with the blowout haircut, the chin strap beard, the fake blue contacts, and stud earrings living at the shore house with the rest of the cast.  MTV casted him to create an interesting dynamic with the rest of the cast, being that he was a poser.  The name of the Guindian is Sukhdeep Patel from Edison, NJ, but he goes by the nickname DJ Sunny P.  Sunny is a DJ at many Indian parties at the NJ/NJ area, and thinks that he is the shit.  So once Sunny arrives at the shore house, everyone tries to be nice and cordial, but they all know he is some cocky wannabe Guido.  Sunny didn’t really click with the guys.  He didn’t go tanning with them because obviously he is already brown.  He didn’t hit up the gym with them because he was a puny vegetarian that probably couldn’t even bench the 45 lb bar more than 3 times.  Sunny would claim that he didn’t need the gym to look good and get girls because of his smooth game.  One night, the whole group went to Karma night club and DJ Pauly D was spinning.  Pauly D was really working the crowd and girls were feeling him.  Sunny, who is also a DJ, was getting jealous because he is used to being the center of attention at the Indian parties that he spins at.  Once Pauly D took a break, Sunny took over the DJ booth.  He had his Ipod with him, so he started playing these Hindi song remixes.  Being that it was a non-Indian crowd, everyone started booing, but Sunny didn’t care.  He kept spinning and playing music.  Pauly D confronted him and told him to get out of the booth.  Sunny ignored him, so Ronnie and the Situation tried to drag him out of the booth.  Being the puny mofo that he is, they easily dragged him out and threw him to the ground.  In his fury, Sunny tried to charge them but the bouncer restrained him.  Thinking he is all tough and gangster, Sunny said “get off me; I’m gonna fuck these n&ggas up!”  Even though Guindians dress like a Guido, they talk black and say “n&gga” frequently.  The bouncer, who was black, couldn’t believe what he heard.  He said “mudda f#cka, you ain’t Italian or black, you just a puny ass bitch that is a disgrace to your people.”  The bouncer let go of Sunny and pushed him into Ronnie and the Situation who took him down to the ground again.  Jwoww and Snookie scratched him on the face with their fake nails and he started to bleed.  The bouncer kicked him out of the club.

Once Sunny was kicked out of Karma, he saw a cop on the boardwalk and told him what happened.  The cop said he couldn’t do anything since he didn’t witness it.  Sunny was furious and started cursing off the cop.  He said “f@ck yall white cops! Y’all don’t give a sh%t about me because I’m brown!”  He continued to be belligerent towards the cop, and finally he was arrested for disorderly conduct.  He called the shore house when he was in jail and apologized for his behavior, but no one wanted to pay for his bail.  He had no choice but to call his parents.  Once they bailed him out, Sunny’s mom slapped him in the face and starting cursing at him in Hindi.  Sunny knew he couldn’t he stay at the shore house, so he moved out.  While he was moving out his stuff, Pauly D saw his license out on his desk, and found out his real name.  He told the rest of the group and they all cracked up.  While Sunny was about to leave, they all went in the kitchen and started sucking on a pickle, just like how Snookie would eat it.  Sunny was visibly angry, but left quietly.

So why didn’t MTV show the footage?  Well Sukhdeep’s parents were so ashamed of their son; they cleared out their savings and borrowed money from their friends and relatives, and bribed MTV to not show the footage.  MTV agreed, and hence that is the lost episode of the Jersey Shore.

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